Ok, this is hard. I just listened to the lead story on tonight’s podcast of As It Happens. It is an interview with a woman who went on a date with Jian Ghomeshi. Another woman. Someone who was afraid to say anything — and who articulates the heartbreaking nature of that fear for us to understand. A woman who could speak out because now she knew she had not been the only one.

These are traumatizing stories to hear. That reason alone is enough to want to be anonymous, even if you do feel you will be believed. Who wants to forever be known as that person with a traumatizing story. Having a dark story that is publicly known does not make you an easy friend. It is crazy making to have strangers look at you with sadness. Or dread. It hurts.

These stories are traumatizing for all of us. We are hearing disturbing stories about someone whose voice we have happily welcomed inside our heads on a regular, even at times daily, basis for years. The cognitive dissonance causes palpitations. No one is unaffected by these events as they have been reported to us.

It is a situation that calls us to be kind to each other. And to reach out. Especially to people who may find the content of the news reports re-traumatizing. It’s the kind of act that could help address the problem of stigma. In your own way, remind them you see the person, not the thing that happened to them. But also check in with them if you think they’re the sort who would appreciate some kindred support.

And I don’t just mean people who have been traumatized sexually. But also people who have lost their jobs or other positions of prestige. Even the most innocent loss of a job is a tough experience, especially if the loss is unexpected and the work well loved. It, too, carries stigma.

And thank you. Thanks for listening. It makes the speaking out part possible.